Point #2 of 11: Stay Present
This is the second of an 11 point series: Returning to Your Present Self, Again and Again
(as outlined in her book Stay Present: A Child, A Diagnosis, A Family's Way Forward)
As we were dealing with the dramas around Claire’s medical condition, I learned to pay attention to what my body was saying to me. Little, and sometimes BIG, signs told me when I was not staying present. My neck and head tensed up in discomfort or pain when something occurred that I wished were not so. No, no, no! This shouldn’t be! it screamed in clear nonverbal communication. Even a simple task such as washing the dishes provoked this physical sign of resistance. Surely there must be something more important for me to do than wash dishes!
Paradoxically, my tense neck has become my friend, my early warning system to pay attention to what’s going on, breathe into it, and accept that “what is, is what is.” I can find a dollop of peace in that moment that slowly replaces the agitated wish to be elsewhere doing anything else. Even this small oasis of calm in stressful situations helps me keep a level head for taking action, rather than dwell in the future when I hope the situation has passed. It is here and now - I must be here and now.
Libby Gell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of Stay Present: A Child, A Diagnosis, A Family’s Way Forward. She shares her extended family’s journey and offers insights and suggestions on creating joy while handling family crises, medical and otherwise.
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