Point #3 of 11: Stay Present
This is the third of an 11 point series: Returning to Your Present Self, Again and Again
(as outlined in her book Stay Present: A Child, A Diagnosis, A Family's Way Forward)
An impending crisis isn’t the best time to begin your psychological and spiritual search. I’m so glad that I began mine decades before our painful medical journey began – I had a lot of teachings and practices to draw on.
At the time of one our greatest challenges, my husband Graham and I began an evening reading about courage. Indeed, it helped steady us and give us a perspective that enabled us to proceed in a more helpful way. To this day, we continue to read to one another from ever-changing yet essentially connected traditions. We pause, we share ideas, we debate at times. “Translation?” he might request of me after a particularly esoteric passage, and I may or may not be able to do so.
My daily positive focus for my mind is meditation, which too has evolved over the years. Other times I refocus by gardening, sometimes a walk, sometimes hatha yoga, or even a shower! Anything to reset my mind so it doesn’t dwell too long.
I remember when my daughter went to college. After dropping her off on campus, I came home, sat in her bedroom and cried. Very valid. But after 10 minutes of sobbing, I knew I had to refocus my mind. “OK, enough for now,” I said to myself and got up to go elsewhere and do something else. Discover what works for you to shift focus and when to employ it in distressful situations.
Libby Gell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of Stay Present: A Child, A Diagnosis, A Family’s Way Forward. She shares her extended family’s journey and offers insights and suggestions on creating joy while handling family crises, medical and otherwise.
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