Point #8 from my 11-point plan for taking care of yourself while supporting others
This is one of my favorite suggestions listed near the end of Stay Present. I can lift my spirits and hopefully someone else’s by instigating a good laugh. They don’t even have to laugh as long as I amuse myself without hurting anyone’s feelings. In his book Wits End, James Geary holds that puns are the highest form of wit and an indicator of intelligence. His perspective pleased me so much and gave me permission to do what I’ve been doing for a very long time – being “punny.”
My favorite recent pun was my query of the lifeguard at the pool where I swim laps. I sign up for a particular lap lane in advance, often lane 2A of 2B, but sometimes it changes at the last minute. After a moment of confusion about my lane I asked her “2B or not 2B?” Although she didn’t crack a discernible smile, my own silly joke made me giggle inside for quite a while, even while swimming. Anything that makes me happy right before jumping into cold water is good by me.
On occasion a good joke is helpful in a sad situation. My nephew Mike told me that he stayed by his dying mother’s bedside for days, keeping vigil during her passing. Coming back from a brief smoke outside, he found that she had passed in his momentary absence. “That woman was going to do it her way,” he said. “I was there all night and stepped out for just a minute and that’s when she dies. It’s like she and God had it all worked out between them.” Even in this sad scenario, he gave us both a chance to get some relief through a good laugh.
Just yesterday my grandson was having a tantrum that wouldn’t stop, so my son put him in time-out in the screened in porch. He continued his tirade for a while, in what I then referred to as the “screamed-in porch.” Hah, that got me lots of laughs, and a smile in this moment as I remember it. Risk making a fool of yourself or getting a big eye-roll by being punny and lightening the moment.
Libby Gell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of Stay Present: A Child, A Diagnosis, A Family’s Way Forward. She shares her extended family’s journey and offers insights and suggestions on creating joy while handling family crises, medical and otherwise.
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